“Gun professor, I’ll punch whoever
Come here lookin’ like Conor McGregor
Leave this bitch lookin’ like Uncle Fester
Question, are we bitter rivals?
‘Cause we can shoot the Ks or the fade
‘Til both of our arms get vitiligo” – Royce Da 5’9″

Yeeeeeeeeeeeeoooooooooo!! Been sick as a dog, but I’m back on my bullshit and ready to feed the people again! Today’s main slate is small, but still nice!

So…Let’s fucking go!!!


The guy who keeps the opposing team OFF THE BOARD. Picking a pitcher is like nailing Defense in NFL. It’s important. So don’t get cute. Also…when picking your pitcher, factor in, WHO IS CATCHING aka GAME CALLING/GAME MANAGING for your pitcher. The wrong call there, can spell gloom and fucking doom for your pitcher.  There are plenty of bats value wise to spice up your GPPs. I’m looking at…

P – Jose Berrios – ($9,000)Why? K upside and to me, this is a solid matchup , where he should EAT. Depending on who’s catching, He should have a gooooood game.

New Format:

Yeeeea FanDuel got cute and wanted to give us the option for more points…I guess. I’ll personally be rolling out catchers in these spots. Give me alllllllllllllll the #CriminalOwnership!!

C – Don’t really like any catchers today unfortunately. But I do like …

1B – Albert Pujols – ($3,400). BvP is in his favor and as ya’ll know…I love me some BvP! It’s a real thing! IDGAF what anybody says lol.

2B – Zack Cozart – ($3,900)Why? BvP matters! That’s all I got to say! Cozart has good ass numbers against Kennedy, Batting .445!

3B – Cory Spagenberg – ($2,300)Why? Mostly because I really like how Spang has been swinging the bat. That, and there really isn’t a ton of info out on the Giant’s pitch for tonight. Of course that doesn’t go run and do a Padres stack, it COULD go the other way. But, I trust Spang to light up the Giant’s tonight.

SS – Ehire Adrianza – ($2,000) Why? IF HE PLAYS. Love this switch hitter against Giolito. Lito has been terrible so far this season and stop acting like the Twins can’t hit!

OF – Aaron Judge – ($4,700)Why? Judge vs Righties is a thing as we all know. As much as I hate to say this about my fellow Jerseyian , and being a die hard Red Sox fan…Porcello is going to get lit the fuck up!

OF – Brett Gardner – ($3,100) Why? MORE BVP! Gardner is batting .304 with that juicy XBH at 5 and 2 dinger vs Porcello.

OF – Justin Upton – ($3,800) –  Why? By reading THIS article…YOU KNOW WHY! He has a OBP .385 , handfull of RBIs and a dinger.

Utility – Mitch Moreland – ($2,300) Why? YARD WORK is on the schedule today! That BvP demands it! Mitchipalooza has 4 dingers and 6 RBIs against Gray. Sign me up.

That’s it… Simple and eaaaasy! Go out there and kill this slate!

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